In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize