youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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