Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
