Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
