You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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