Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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