I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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