DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
