its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
