I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
