I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i will never coherently bang her
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
