While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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