She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
