i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
