My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
