Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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