I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
