im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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