Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
