my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
