I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize