I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize