You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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