he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
