1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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