bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
