i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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