rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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