He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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