I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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