this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
