week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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