He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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