TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
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