Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
