My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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