First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
