Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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