True but thats because hes a fetus.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Come see our sink grown plant.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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