it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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