After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
