So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
