he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
