Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
