I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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