Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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