There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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