You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
