my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
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