Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much