No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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