a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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