I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
