Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
