I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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