and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
