Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
