Hey man sorry I got all grabby
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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