the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
