Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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