worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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