Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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